Control

Why is it that some people reach for control of others, not just their own lives? Whether it be a signifigant other, family, or friends, they are determined to control any little part of someones life. This need for power can become hurtful and going way past "protecting" the other. They might yell or guilt the other into doing what THEY want and what THEY think is best. But really...all they do is push that person away.
I've dealt with multiple people such as this. Ones who were determined that I be the lesser person within our determined relationship. I've pushed friends away and held others close...but only if that one single person approved of them. I've cancelled plans and hurt friends because I didn't want them getting mad.
But yet, all it does, is hurt myself. I've tried to seperate myself from such people. Especially the people that admit they are doing something wrong. Because when they admit it and don't do anything about it, then all that is keeping them going is that power. It's not the fact of they want to be my friend, or be with me, but that they want to control me. They want me to bow down the the fact that they can have me do anything they want.
The question is though....what do you do when you can't get out? What do you do when this person threatens their own life if you leave...and you know they'll do it. Is it right to leave the person, although they attempt to control, is fighting for control of themselves as well. Is it humane to drop someone who is so desperately clinging to you to save them. Who manipulates you to do their bidding, all the while attempting to gather their own strength?
Whhen is that line crossed? Perhaps, it's when you finally reached your maximum point. Perhaps it when they lay a hand on you other than for compassion. Maybe its at the beginning. Before they are able to wrap you around their finger.
But is it safe?
Is it safe to leave these people behind when it's clear they can't be trusted alone?
Ponder me this.
Is it safe to be alone with someone who can't be trusted by themselves?

Getting Through It

I've always wondered how people have managed to get through life. With everything that is pitched at them....it's bound to be a strike. I'm only in high school but I've had my fair share of hits-n-misses. From almost failing classes all the way to losing friends because of one stupid word. I've probably been through some things that no one could ever dream about. But I also have friends that I know have been through worse. It's a struggle for all of us just to make it through to the next day with everything else weighing us down. But we manage. By being together, leaning on each other, we manage to open our eyes to the days ahead.
Currently, I have just finished a project in history that I recieved a C+ on. The only explination I got? "It wasn't in the correct form"...he remembered nothing else he counted off for. Then I go home to the yelling and the screaming. It's hard living with an autistic brother. He requires so much attention, sometimes it's actually painful to be around him. But to make matters worse, my mother enjoys yelling right back at him wheneve rhe has a fit. I do all I can just to hold on until my boyfriend gets there. And sometimes that isn't even enough. With him in moods a lot of the times, sometimes his temper can grow a bit short. But it's nothing compared to what is running through his mind now.
But sometimes there's the high point of each day. That one moment you stop and realize that everything is absolutely perfect. It's when your friends are there beside you, a smile is plastered onto your face, and you know nothing could ever bring you down. Those are the times when I realize that maybe, just maybe, I WILL get through this...and maybe, perhaps, I'll realize how they made it through afterall.