& It's been awhile ....

It's summertime and I've been neglecting my blog.

*pats*

I cried today. We [me & my boyfriends family & him] had to put down a puppy today. It was sad. She was going up to one of the pit bulls and he attacked her over food. He hadn't ever done anything like that before. He shattered her bottom jaw. It was so sad. She would get tangled up in your hair, and wag her little tail. She was even wagging it on the way to the vet.
I bawled my eyes out. We all did.
It just made me think about all the little things. I mean, something so tiny and precious lost it's life today. What about all the babies that die of starvation, or are aborted.
It's just all so depressing.

Old Music

So, I'm listening to Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley by the Kingston Trio. It's very catchy, it's about a boy who killed a woman and is going to be hanged.
"Hang down your head Tom Dooley, hang down your head and cry. Hang down your head Tom Dooley, poor boy your bound to die.
I met her on the mountain. There I took her life. Met her on the mountain, stabbed her with my knife."
If you've never listened to you, you should.
50's music is so very different from ours nowadays and I really enjoy it.
Build Me Up Buttercup is also a good one if you need something catchy and poppy

It's relaxing to listen to listen to music from so long ago. It's as if they had no worries and nothing to care about except for theit music. Now it's as if people sing just for the money. But 50's music is very amazing quality stuff. No rap or anything of that sort.

If you ever need a break from life, just pop in some 50's music, and just relax. I'm going to list a few of my favorites.

Under the Boardwalk - (The Temptations)
Brown-eyed Girl - (The Temptations)
The Wanderer - (Not really sure)
The Twist - (Chubby Checkers)
Build Me Up Buttercup - (The Temptations)
Yakity Yak - (Chuck Berry)
Wake Up Little Susie - (Buddy Holly)
Rock Around the Clock - (Bill Haley & the Comets)

And those are only a few. There are so many amazing artists and songs with so many different meanings behind them.

Wake Up Little Susie is about a couple who fall asleep in the movie theater and fall asleep, they wake up late, she was supposed to be home by 10 and now they're worried about their reputations. (They were a big deal back then)

:)

A Little Crazy

There are some things in this world that seem a little crazy. When your best friend is upset and won't tell you why but is clearly asking for help, or when you realize in a few years that you'll be leaving your life behind to start a new one. It's crazy when you realize that nothing is ever really and truly THERE. It's all just a trick of the mind. As time passes, so do we. People die every day, every second, and yet, as we mourn for them, our own seconds are slowly ticking away.
So why do we bother trying to impress anybody? Why do we bother dressing up and looking nice just to wish we could kick off the heels and wish for a pair of comfy sneakers that you've had for 4 years? If you wish it could happen, then why don't you just do it?
Money is pointless, especially when it comes to the amount. The value of the dollar os basically gone, yet we still want more. When we have $1 in our hand, we truly only have a few cents compared to years previous.
It's all a little crazy. Maybe humans are a little crazy. All dogs want to do, is play. A cat enjoys a leisure nap by a window. Horses frolic and goats eat. Why can we not achieve that same contentment? Why must we constantly be moving?
Time will never stand still. I would rather find something I love and do it, over and over, than do nothing.
Yet, doing nothing seems nice.
Why do thoughts like these cross my mind? What is it with humans that cause us to want to move, yet be still? Why do we wish to be pretty, yet not want to make the effort? Why do we....
Why...?
Sometimes, things in life just seem a little crazy....

The Little Things

I wonder why people make a huge fuss about nothing.

There is this campaign thing going on at my school and the guy I‘m up against has done nothing (except pass a few flyers out) but complain about how I’m running a “smear” campaign.

It made me think about why people get upset over the little things. Oh, she ran into me, big deal. If it isn’t life threatening, or hurting someone, then why make a big deal out of it.

There’s a girl that everyone believes is a huge whore (though she has done nothing to deny it and in fact, argues with everyone) and she was talking about this girl who said she (the “whore’) gave her number to a 13 year old at the beach. Note, the one who had “said” this, hadn’t. Someone had asked if she gave her number to anyone while on a trip to the beach.

So why get irritated.

Really?

I would much rather waste my energy doing something fun and entertaining than worry about the little thing. It was a lesson I learned last year.

I got into so much stuff with people last year over a guy (well….2. One of the “whore’s” b/fs and my ex) and so many people talked about me (my friend came back to school and said that people told her that I was a slut and not to mess with me [I hadn’t been with anyone at this point]) that it wasn’t even worth listening to.

And this year, I’ve gotten into one…note ONE, argument. This whole SCHOOL YEAR, and it was with my friend who didn’t even go to my school.

So I’ve avoided it fairly well.

I guess what I’m trying to get at, is if you read this….

Don’t sweat it.

It’s not going to change who you are if someone says something about you. If you let it roll off your shoulders then you’re gonna be alright.
J

Control

Why is it that some people reach for control of others, not just their own lives? Whether it be a signifigant other, family, or friends, they are determined to control any little part of someones life. This need for power can become hurtful and going way past "protecting" the other. They might yell or guilt the other into doing what THEY want and what THEY think is best. But really...all they do is push that person away.
I've dealt with multiple people such as this. Ones who were determined that I be the lesser person within our determined relationship. I've pushed friends away and held others close...but only if that one single person approved of them. I've cancelled plans and hurt friends because I didn't want them getting mad.
But yet, all it does, is hurt myself. I've tried to seperate myself from such people. Especially the people that admit they are doing something wrong. Because when they admit it and don't do anything about it, then all that is keeping them going is that power. It's not the fact of they want to be my friend, or be with me, but that they want to control me. They want me to bow down the the fact that they can have me do anything they want.
The question is though....what do you do when you can't get out? What do you do when this person threatens their own life if you leave...and you know they'll do it. Is it right to leave the person, although they attempt to control, is fighting for control of themselves as well. Is it humane to drop someone who is so desperately clinging to you to save them. Who manipulates you to do their bidding, all the while attempting to gather their own strength?
Whhen is that line crossed? Perhaps, it's when you finally reached your maximum point. Perhaps it when they lay a hand on you other than for compassion. Maybe its at the beginning. Before they are able to wrap you around their finger.
But is it safe?
Is it safe to leave these people behind when it's clear they can't be trusted alone?
Ponder me this.
Is it safe to be alone with someone who can't be trusted by themselves?

Getting Through It

I've always wondered how people have managed to get through life. With everything that is pitched at them....it's bound to be a strike. I'm only in high school but I've had my fair share of hits-n-misses. From almost failing classes all the way to losing friends because of one stupid word. I've probably been through some things that no one could ever dream about. But I also have friends that I know have been through worse. It's a struggle for all of us just to make it through to the next day with everything else weighing us down. But we manage. By being together, leaning on each other, we manage to open our eyes to the days ahead.
Currently, I have just finished a project in history that I recieved a C+ on. The only explination I got? "It wasn't in the correct form"...he remembered nothing else he counted off for. Then I go home to the yelling and the screaming. It's hard living with an autistic brother. He requires so much attention, sometimes it's actually painful to be around him. But to make matters worse, my mother enjoys yelling right back at him wheneve rhe has a fit. I do all I can just to hold on until my boyfriend gets there. And sometimes that isn't even enough. With him in moods a lot of the times, sometimes his temper can grow a bit short. But it's nothing compared to what is running through his mind now.
But sometimes there's the high point of each day. That one moment you stop and realize that everything is absolutely perfect. It's when your friends are there beside you, a smile is plastered onto your face, and you know nothing could ever bring you down. Those are the times when I realize that maybe, just maybe, I WILL get through this...and maybe, perhaps, I'll realize how they made it through afterall.